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Got a problem with Ninjas? Then we’ve got the car for you!

Yesterday morning, I took my car in to get looked over. While the “Diagnostic Testing” was a little pricey, the upside was that they gave me a free rental car off the lot to have fun with while my 940 was under the microscope. I was pretty thrilled to be driving off the lot in a $40,000 swedish luxury sedan: The Volvo S80.

The S80 has an abundance of features that make it easy to fall in love with. And with the elegant dashboard, the blind spot warning system (aka, blinking lights), and the absurdity of putting 6×9 speakers in the front doors, it’s pretty hard not to.

As I was discovering more and more things about the car that were just common sense, I discovered an extra feature: The Personal Car Communicator (PCC).

It looks something like this, only with an extra button

This is the key to activate the Volvo. I didn’t check to see if my particular model was PCC equipped as I was having too much fun driving it. But that’s more or less what it looks like, with a perimeter that looks invisible until you activate it and little LEDs turn on.

Here’s the run down of what the PCC does, with a series of LED lights:

• Can lock / unlock the doors
• Turn on lights, interior lights
• Remembers your history, so you can see if you locked your car or not
• Tells you if the alarm has been activated
• Has a heartbeat sensor, to tell you if there is someone hiding in your car.
  

Just when you think they’ve thought of everything, they throw in something to detect if a ninja is waiting to kill you.

Maybe it’s the brilliance of the engineers. Maybe it’s the hundreds of years of Viking blood running through their veins, but somehow, volvo has made a stylish, expensive, anti-ninja car. Did I mention the base engine has more horse power than the base models of the Dodge Charger and Ford Mustang? Making it a fast getaway car as well before you add the turbo option or the V8.

Not this time, bitch!

Needless to say, I’m impressed. The Volvo S80 is a prime pick for Vikings, Pirates, bank robbers,  or anyone else who may have ninja problems.

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