Music is “All She Wants to Do is Dance” by Greenstreet. I shot this on Saturday, June 27th around 3:50pm

Apparently they recieved a tip that I had stolen computers at my house? This has come as an abrupt and interesting surprise for me and I really don’t know what to say. All the detective had to say was that he believes that I have something to do with something, but there’s nothing that can be proven so since nothing was found, this is the end of it.

Apparently something happened at my old cleaning job, although he wouldn’t name specifics as to when or where, all he said it was “around a time when I filled in”. Honestly I can’t remember the last time I worked for them. Either way, this is random, weird, and I’m glad it’s all behind me.  Anyone who knows me knows I build all my own PCs, save for the laptops.

Although I may get a call from the Sheriff’s Department regarding the marijuana possession, this is the end of everything as the “lead” to my house yielded no results. The detective seemed like a nice guy, and gave me some shit for saying they trashed my house, telling me that the place was already pretty trashed when they came through.

If I want a warrant than I have to a FOIA request to the police department after 56 days. But unless the sheriff’s want to be a problem, everything should be ok.

Thank you all for your support

The first is the comment system, which uses Disqus. This allows for a prettier display, guest posting, better conversaion / replies, and syncing up with all other blogs that use the Disqus system. So it should be fun and much more interactive for you guys, which I’m excited about.

Second is the login system, which has been integrated with Clickpass. I had openID set up for a long time but it didn’t catch on. With Clickpass you can login using an MSN, AIM, Facebook, OpenID and more. So it’ll be easier to login and connect.

Enjoy B-)

This afternoon at 12:49 pm, my brother Tom called me to inform me that upon his arrival home, that the house had been completely trashed by police, leaving a note and a card at which to call them.

Now, why in the world would the police want to raid my house? Good question, which I tried to find out. I went over to the Clinton Township Police Department to speak with the detective, and I was told that he was in court for the rest of the day and that I would have to call or come back in the morning.

Still confused as to why a Mount Clemens home was searched by Clinton Township Police, I went to the Sheriff’s department (who polices Mount Clemens) to ask a deputy as to why this would happen. He asked where in Mount Clemens I lived, and when I told him this he exclaimed that he knew a raid was going to happen on my house (without having to look it up, mind you), but couldn’t give me any additional information and that I would have to talk to Clinton Township Police.

From there I tried to get a copy of the warrant, so I went to the circuit court. I was told to go to the district court. Fair enough. The people at the district court told me that the Detective was probably part of a larger task force and ongoing investigation. I was also told that a warrant would not be available through the court system until after 56 days, when it becomes public record, or until charges are brought, in which case I can make a discovery request to a prosecuting attorney.

However, I truly do not believe that it’s going to come to that.

So until I get any answers from the Detective in the morning, here’s what he left for me.

Police Return Tabulation

Note that there is no Judge or Magistrate listed on the form and that the information is scarce, at best. This is ALL I have to go on until tomorrow morning at the earliest.

The simple truth of the matter is that as a result of lifelong (at least as far back as I can remember) knee pain, I have chosen to medicate myself with Marijuana to ease the pain. Those of you know know me know I have problems getting up and down stairs, and if a building catches on fire I will be unable to flee the building in any fashion resembling quick.

I have not yet taken the steps to become an official Medical Marijuana patient because as of right now, I’ve been more worried with getting my day-to-day expenses as well as my credit cards paid off. I’m also a responsible user, I don’t drive, work, use heavy machinery, etc. while under the influence of anything.

I also have decided to not make this a public issue due to my community involvement and run for public office. Despite my feelings on this issue I have not come out and said anything. I would not want people to get any pre-concieved notions about my character based on such things, so I’ve remained quiet on the matter. I still do not wish to make this a political point or anything like that. However I am going to be more vocal when things cross me, such as this.

I am extremely bothered that I wasn’t contacted and all I have to go on is this ridiculous note. So I’m in a pretty pissed off mood right now and hope to get to the bottom of this tomorrow morning. I have no desire to get dragged through the courtroom over such a minuscule amount of marijuana.Marijuana possession in Michigan is punishable with up to a $2,000 fine and up to 1 year in jail for a misdemeanor, none of which I plan on doing.

While the damage to my house wasn’t as bad as I would have anticipated, here’s some pictures of the stones overturned.

A moved and opened laptop in my office

Computers just thrown about in my Office

They moved the couch to check out the attic...where I'm sure they promptly said "fuck this" and closed the door.

My 9mm glock and case (yes, registered and legal) left on my bed.

Old computers, dug out of my closet and thrown on my bed.

A drawer in my dresser, left open

Tom's Desktop, isn't the monitor lovely?

Tom's drawer, left ajar

Tom's room. His PC was ripped out from it's nook and cranny and left on his bed

Tom's Floor: Completely fucked

The stuff they decided to tear up and what they didn’t seems pretty weird to me. My personal computer was untouched aside from the scanner being moved, despite the old Apple II and old broken down PCs that were looked at. My server was untouched, as was my switch and other networking equipment, but my brother’s PC was completely trashed.

It seems that they were more interested in computers than anything else, which just baffles me. No computer crimes have been committed, and there is no doubt that if they were suspect of such things that the machines would have just been siezed (good luck getting anything to work once it’s off the network tho :p ).

So right now, I have no idea as to what or who they were after, why my house became a target, or anything else.

This is the complete story as I have it right now, and I will post more updates when I know what is going on. Aside from very minor drug posession, I have done nothing wrong and aim to get to the bottom of this quickly.

How you ask? Well lets just look at the “findings” by congress right from the bill itself.

1) The use of tobacco products by the Nation’s children is a pediatric disease of considerable proportions that results in new generations of tobacco-dependent children and adults.

That’s all well and good. However Childhood Obesity (up to 33% of kids) is much more rampant than the number of high school seniors that smoke (up to 24%). Not to mention that studies are showing that teens are smoking at substantially lesser rates than in years past, and this figure continues to fall yearly. Other problems facing kids, such as childhood obesity, all the nonsense on the television and in the media, and the glorification of anti-culture culture is on the rise, and much more dangerous.

People like Lil’ Wayne are much more hazardous to the nations youth than cigarettes.

I Use To Tote A .38 Up In My Crack Days. I Tote That AK-47 In My Rap Days.

2) A consensus exists within the scientific and medical communities that tobacco products are inherently dangerous and cause cancer, heart disease, and other serious adverse health effects.

Remember the old days, when we all agreed on things like Eugenics and that Heroin was good for you? Times were so much simpler then.

5) Tobacco advertising and marketing contribute significantly to the use of nicotine-containing tobacco products by adolescents.

Yah! Remember this commercial from last year’s superbowl?

Me neither. Get real, nobody markets cigarettes to kids like they used to. Just because little Barry Obama got duped by some TV commercial on his way to nicotine and cocaine doesn’t mean that the rest of the world is this nieve.

9) Under article I, section 8 of the Constitution, the Congress is vested with the responsibility for regulating interstate commerce and commerce with Indian tribes.

Poor Indian Tribes can never catch a break. Sadly, this has no real meaning in the actual bill itself, it was just thrown in there to remind the indians how much better the white man is at getting things done than they are.

16) In 2005, the cigarette manufacturers spent more than $13,000,000,000 to attract new users, retain current users, increase current consumption, and generate favorable long-term attitudes toward smoking and tobacco use.

…So? Why is it a crime for a private enterprise to market their product? Cocoa Cola, a product which contributes to diabetes (which causes lots of cancers), unhealthy weight, dental problems, and more. But that’s OK. Think about this: When was the last time you saw a commercial with kids enjoying cigarettes. Now, when was the last time you saw a commercial with kids enjoying a sugar-induced, unhealthy beverage?

This glass is literally sitting on my desk as I write this post

17) Tobacco product advertising often misleadingly portrays the use of tobacco as socially acceptable and healthful to minors.

What congress cannot grasp is that this is not misleading: among minors, it IS socially acceptable to smoke. Despite anti-smoking campaigns and whatnot.

1 Tobacco product advertising is regularly seen by persons under the age of 18, and persons under the age of 18 are regularly exposed to tobacco product promotional efforts.

They’re also exposed to The Sham Wow Guy Vince, Billy Mays’ Oxyclean, Big Chief Chewing Tobacco, and a million other things. Not every kid owns a pair of Nikes because they’re on TV as much, and they sure as hell don’t rush out to buy a new Sham-Wow. Just because something is advertised, it doesn’t mean that people are going to go out and buy it.

21) The use of tobacco products in motion pictures and other mass media glamorizes its use for young people and encourages them to use tobacco products.

Like what, for example? Name 1 movie geared towards children that glamorizes smoking? The only thing I can think of is that  scene in Mrs. Doubtfire where Danial Hillard quits his job because the parrot is having a smoke.

You only see smoking in movies geared towards adults. And even then, it’s an accurate representation of the way we live: some people smoke. We can’t erase that by not including it in movies. Besides, people in movies who smoke aren’t usually the most oscar nominated roles. Typically we see the convict, the biker, the creepy eurpoean, the prostitute or the strung out crack addict reaching for a cigarette. If anything, Hollywood is unfair towards the normal everyday people who enjoy tobacco products.

25) Comprehensive advertising restrictions will have a positive effect on the smoking rates of young.

Fallacy 101.

And, my personal favorite:

(35) Tobacco products have been used to facilitate and finance criminal activities both domestically and internationally. Illicit trade of tobacco products has been linked to organized crime and terrorist groups.

This takes the cake. Not only is this a danger to children and adults, but it FUNDS TERRORISTS!

"Welcome to Flavor Country" - Osama Bin Laden (Probably)

Where are all those people who cried foul during the Bush years for him using terrorism as an excuse to do everything under the son that he wanted? Well, it appears that as long as the terrorism gag is used in their favor, it’s okay. This is just plain disgusting.

Based on findings like this, how can HR 1256 not be a success? Gee, idk.

The bill goes on for pages and pages of nothingness, rambling on about how the FDA gets to flex their muscles, despite the fact that they’re done a traditionally poor job in a large number of things that they have tried to do.I could go on and on picking apart each piece of the bill, but anyone with a shred of common sense will be able to do that just by looking at it briefly. I just highlighted some of the fun points to get you started.

If you can stomach the BS, I encourage you to read the text in it’s entirety here.

http://www.govtrack.us/congress/billtext.xpd?bill=h111-1256

Till then, I’m going to go see if Thank You for Smoking is on On Demand.

Ooh, not to mention: if you go outside without sun block, you are at risk for skin cancer. Do we chastise the beach goers for damaging their body the way we damage cigarette smokers?

This is the last of the “random weird cars I see while driving” for a while. I promise. But this was too sweet to not post up.

Behold, the sign:

Webcam Daycare: Voyeurism for the concerned Parent

Their website boasts:

Welcome to the award winning daycare where you can see your kids at play while you’re at work! Enrolled parents have a login account that will allow them safe and secure access to the webcams anytime.

First off, the title of “award winning” means nothing. Just because somebody gave you some recognition doesn’t mean that some creeper might not still end up working there.

I can only really imagine two kinds of parents who would be interested in this kind of toddler spying program: Those who are extremely worried about their kids getting molested and those who don’t know how to cut the cord and just let their kids be.

Now, if you were really worried about something happening to your kid, maybe you shouldn’t entrust them to complete strangers. Or at least not to a daycare company that doesn’t have references. Parents know other parents. Surely someone could recommend a reputable daycare that doesn’t hire people who end up on To Catch a Predator…right?

pic related...but unlikely

Basically, you can’t trust anyone. Cameras or no cameras. It’s just the way it is. It’s all to convenient for the server to just happen to crash and something can happen. Then your little sense of satisfaction of knowing your child is safe goes right out the window.

And even so, who says “Well I won’t be completely satisfied until I can watch my child at every moment?”. If you’re that paranoid, I can only imagine what kind of hell your kid, and his father, go through on a day to day basis while dealing with your paranoid shit.

And in defense of the Daycare people, the problem may ensue where you may appear to be molesting / grabbing a child / whatever when it’s entirely something different. That can lead to a legal battle and an unbelievable amount of trouble for you. Not to mention, it’s not like you can call up your best friend and say “uhm, yah what do I do if I get accused of touching some kid?”. You’ll just end up on the internet, begging for advice, and eventually joining some “wrongfully accused” support group. Making this scenario all the more real is that it’s easy to understand why a parent of a previously molested child would think that a daycare with webcams is a good idea. But that also means that they will end up super overprotective and may end up scrutinizing your every move. No es bueno.

And uhm…not to mention….

You’re broadcasting a video of kids playing on the internet! Which is just inviting your website to get hacked by some guy who has this as his computer wallpaper:

I didn't know she was 3...

While the site has a nice SSL cert, that doesn’t men a whole lot when compared to what people will do to break in. Hell, I’m sure people would hack the server just to prove that it wasn’t a safe and secure haven. Or equally as bad, what if one of the other parents has a thing for little kids? Getting his kicks becomes easy once he’s granted access to the video network.

Nothing is truely safe or secure, and this is no exception. Putting it on the internet makes it all the more vaulnerable.

Not to mention, there’s something wrong with getting kinds exposed to so many cameras so early in their lives. Nothing like getting them ready for a lifetime of surveilence the moment you leave your house, courtesy of Big Brother. It’s all just plain wrong.

So let’s review:

PRO:

• Feed your obsession with watching your kids.
• Give yourself a false sense of thinking your kids are ultimately ok.
• Watch little kids play…if that’s your thing.

CON:

• You feed your obsession instead of seeking help.
• You leave your kids subject to pedohackers.
• I’m sure the extra “security” ain’t cheap.
• Your surround your child with cameras at all times.
• You allow the other weird parents to watch your kid all day.

Conclusion:

The concept of webcam daycare is creepy, weird, and is more or less exploiting your spawn.

Society always has nice ways of throwing these little curveballs at us that keep it interesting.

Anyways, on my way home I encountered a car with one of those pro american, save your job bumper stickers. The ironic bit being that it was on a Chevy HHR and this immediately threw up some red flags.

Behold, the car.

Chevy HHR: Made in...

Behold, the hypocracy.

Last I checked, Ramos Arizpe was a suburb of Monterrey, Mexico. Let’s ask google maps.

Accurate Map is Accurate

Now granted, the HHR brings in jobs for white collar executives, a design team, and dealerships, but really, is that what the pro-american message that is trying to be portrayed? The idea is to support manufacturing jobs…and cars like the HHR don’t represent that in really any fashion.

Here’s the story.

I’ve been working on a small freelance project where the most time consuming bit was going to be the photo gallery. So I wrote something up to show the pictures, browse directories, make image previews, etc. Instead of being ghetto-fab and just using CSS to set the width of the images, I found a nice thumbnailer script that uses PHP’s GD library and even had an image cache so that it wouldn’t be ridiculously slow every time it was run. It’s called Smart Image Resizer from Shifting Pixel. I was excited and decided to test it.

Well, the script was set up to search all directories in the folder “galleries” and take the first image from each folder and use that one as the preview image. Simple enough, right?

Well, not when it encounters an empty directory.

It tried passing something like “array index[2]: Invalid” to the PHP script as an argument for the image. This, unbeknownst to me, caused my web server’s security to freak out and give errors like the following:

2009-06-10 21:33:23 XX.XX.XX.XX  /thumbnail.php?/.?width=350&height=350&cropratio=1:1ℑ=/gallery/test1/. HTTP/1.1 domain.com Access denied with code 403 (phase 2). Match of “rx (\\.(?:gif|jpg|png|bmp|jpeg)|^http://$|^[0-9]+$)” against “ARGS:image” required. [file "/usr/local/apache/conf/modsec2.user.conf"] [line "825"] [id "340161"] [rev "14"] [msg "PHP Injection protection for Image ARGS (S)"] [severity "CRITICAL"] 403

Except like I said, I had no idea that this has happened. So from where I sit, I’m just trying to FTP some files and go about my day. Then it locks me out. No big deal right? Server’s getting rebooted or something, I’ll just try again later.

Still can’t get in. I check the server from my phone, it’s fine. Eventually, I get back in, go back to testing, and get locked out again. I proceed to go down to my girlfriend’s house, assuming that it’s blocking my IP address for whatever reason, and it locks me out there.

So I’m pretty bothered and confused at this point. Keeping mind that this has happened over the course of a few days. Eventually, I get in touch with my hosting people and figure it all out. But that still won’t stop the server from kicking me off if it doesn’t like the image value to pass.

So I patch my gallery to only pass something to the script if there is a file there, and all is well again.

On top of that, I worked till almost 730 today, put in almost a full day on Sunday, had to rebuild my home network setup and have had random day to day stuff to deal with.

Updates are coming soon. Till then, there CAN be a thing as too much security .

Hookah: In HDR

Taken with my trusty Samsung NV15. View a larger size here.

While I usually hide the names of people when I post conversations, I don’t know these people and for them being so unbelievably dumb I don’t really care. There is no “innocent” to “protect”. It’s both amusing and sad at the same time, as we all know a “I don’t care what anybody says, I love him” girl who puts herself through hell for no reason.

Either way, enjoy.

The saga of Sierra and Gary

With that in mind, there are essentially two kinds of historical preservation:

Practical and Productive Preservation

This is where the idea of preserving a piece of history is put on the table so that the ailing artifact can once again come alive and become something that will make the world a better place. Also, the newly restored building will serve a function that is useful, and has some kind of real potential.

A great example is Michigan Central Station in Southwest Detroit. Often the structure is the first thing people see coming over the bridge from Canada and could be used for a wide array of things.

The newly-restored DoubleTree Fort-Shelby Hotel as well as the Westin Book Cadillac are prime examples of historical preservation that offer a great benefit. Both of these places were shells of past glory just a few years ago and are now gorgeous bright spots in the city.

Preservation for the sake of preservation

This is where people rally around preserving an artifact just because they want it to be preserved. It has some kind of special historical or personal significance that makes people want to save it.

Something like the log cabin Abe Lincoln was born would be a good example.

But a better one is Tiger Stadium.

What was once a beautiful ballpark turned like most things in Detroit: A dilapidated building taking up space. Last time I’ve seen anything of substance happen in Tiger Stadium since the tigers moved to Comerica Park was was people who were apparently parking Cadillacs in there. It seemed like there was always an old Brougham going in or out for whatever reason.

The time for the old ballpark has come and gone. Ground Broke on Comerica Park on October 29, 1997, which means that talks of a new stadium must have been in development for at least a few years before. That gives us, at a minimum, 13 (some would say more than 20) years for people to start efforts to save Tiger Stadium.

And in at least 13 years, there is neither a concise plan of what to do with the site or the funds to save it.

The Old Tiger Stadium Conservancy states:

For over a year The Old Tiger Stadium Conservancy has been quietly working on a plan to preserve the entire playing field and a significant portion of the beloved old ballpark.

A whole year! Come on guys, there’s no way you didn’t know this was coming.

Granted, the Conservancy does have a plan for the ballpark, but it’s lukewarm at best and despite the fact that the plan is a 6 page document, there isn’t a lot of substance in it. Instead of being filled with facts about how the site will sustain itself, any kind of study supporting what they want to do, or anything else that would impress any government official, it appeals to the “hey, look how cool this stuff is!” mentality.

The following is a direct quote from the plan.

The majority of the playing field, upon which trod Ty Cobb, Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Willie
Mays, Reggie Jackson, Al Kaline, and other baseball legends played, will be made available for
Little League and high school baseball and community events.

Anybody familiar with Tiger Stadium knows of the historical significance. Rattling off names won’t help. A study about how parks help urban development or something along those lines might have been good, but nothing of the sort.

Plus there are talks of maybe a museum, maybe restaurants, maybe this maybe that. No concrete plan other than the feel-good rantings.

On the notion of baseball parks for kids,  who can’t appreciate the awesomeness that Clark Park in Mexicantown has become! A rundown ballpark for young adults as well as lots of trees and open spaces…bonus points if you like broken glass and old cars that bounce 80 inches in the air.

Clark Park: Ground Zero for the Detroit Lowrider Culture (from the Detroit Free Press)

Since the plan has no real plan for making any revenue, it will become a burden on the City and/or State. And if the conversationalists have had 13 years to raise cash and are nowhere near what they need to even save the ballpark, then on what basis should we believe that there can be funds to sustain such a thing? We’re about to lose the Auto Show because Cobo Hall is getting too expensive to upkeep. The biggest success of this movement? Getting congress to earmark money just for this effort, which shows you how desperate things are.

You can download the plan in “detail” from http://www.savetigerstadium.org

I’m all for building parks and revitilizing Urban Areas. But what Corktown really needs right now is some economic development. Something should take the place of this ballpark that will benefit the city. Corktown bar and restaurant owners have suffered quite a bit since they lost the ballpark business, and this is a great opportunity to put something there that has a real chance of sustaining itself and becoming a force for economic development.

What has happened is that Michigan and Trumbull has become a modern day Tiananmen Square, with people fighting so furiously to save this ballpark.

Which, by the way, looks like this currently:

Lets go Tigers Lets go! *clap*clap* (from the Detroit Free Press)

With most of the site already demolished and cleared.

There has been ample time, but it’s time to let it go. Enjoy the memories of what once was and let it be. So many old stadiums around the country have gone to the wrecking ball. All were places of Glory and excitement for generations, and all could no longer serve their purpose.Not even New York cried such foul play when Yankee Stadium had it’s time to go.

Unmaintained buildings have been such a problem in this city. It’s better to let it go then to end up like some of the other places in the city.

Not what Tiger Stadium Deserves

I understand why people love the ballpark so much. I have some fond memories there myself, and as someone who loves historical preservation, this was a hard thing to come to terms with.

The ballpark should have closed, been renovated, then put back into use, but what is done is done. I highly commend the people who are working so hard to save Tiger Stadium, it’s impressive.

But realistically, what are we fighting for? Half of an old structure. Your memories won’t be gone; they won’t disappear with the building. The Tigers wont be gone, and all the good times that were had will still live in your mind for as long as you can hold on to them.

It’s time to say adieu, and focus efforts on something like MCS where we can actually turn a structure that can still be saved into something useful and self sustaining.

Till then, he stood there like the house by the side of the road, and watched it go by.

General Motors: Shattered.

Yesterday, while a dark and stormy sky had settled over the “Renaissance” Center in downtown Detroit, General Motors filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. While for many in Detroit, this means a simple “We’re fucked”, the nice folks on TV were trying to hide their urge to an hero by saying that this was a new beginning, that GM will come back stronger and more poised to take a better market share. Realistically, if there ever was a good reason to an hero, crashing a company like GM is a pretty has got to be up there.

While it’s anybody’s guess if GM will actually survive this debacle, we have to question how it can happen when they have screwed up so badly in the past. To make matters worse, the people who are trying hardest to reassure us that everything will be OK are from the government, who have lied to us about all sorts of things for the past over 9000 years. Not to mention that they keep telling us that they have no interest in running the company, despite already installing a new CEO.

Either way, here’s a look back at a bunch of absurdly dumb shit GM has done to end up where they are. Lots of industries have issues with labor, costs, government regulations, and more. When we throw the excuses aside, we see lots of places where General Motors (and Chrysler), could have done much better.

Don’t make a fleet of “different” vehicles that are exactly the same.

Behold, the Chevy S10!

Also Available in Black

Behold, the radically different GNC Sonoma!

Ooh yah, I'm bad

It truely is amazing how ridiculous it is. It’s the SAME DAMN TRUCK. Turn one into an SUV, call it the Chevy Blazer. Turn the other into an SUV, and it’s the GMC Jimmy. It’s absurd to sell minimally different versions of the same product to try to accomodate everyone everywhere at any time. It would be if Coke started selling 12, 16, 20, 22, 24, 28, and 32 oz bottles of Coca Cola. We would laugh to see that on the grocery store shelves, but somehow GM (and the other members of the Detroit 3 are just as guilty) thought this was not only acceptable, but appropriate.

From the Wikipedia article for Chevy S10 (which is what comes up when you search for GMC Sonoma):

The Chevrolet S-10 was a compact pickup truck from the Chevrolet marque of General Motors. When it was first introduced in 1982, the GMC version was known as the S-15 and later renamed the GMC Sonoma. A high-performance version was released in 1991 and given the name of GMC Syclone. The truck was also sold by Isuzu as the Hombre from 1996 through 2000. There was also an SUV version, the Chevrolet S-10 Blazer/GMC S-15 Jimmy. An electric version was leased as a fleet vehicle in 1997 and 1998. Together, these trucks are often referred to as the S-series. In 2004, the S-series was replaced by new models: the Chevrolet Colorado, GMC Canyon, and Isuzu i-Series.

It should come as no surprise that the GMC Colorado, GMC Canyon, and Isuzu i-Series are all, the exact same truck. Ever had someone at Best Buy try to explain the difference between a HP ze6514 and ze6514-a in a way that makes you even remotely give a shit? Yah, me neither. This is no exception.

Leases? You’ve got to be kidding me.

Here’s a radical concept: Allow people to pay a chunk of money upfront to rent a car for a few years provided they give it back in as perfect of shape as they can and keep it under a certain mileage without paying some kind of costly fees. Yah, that’s the American Dream.

For as long as there have been cars there have been people who have wanted to own cars. This kind of pseudo-ownership is crap on all levels. You give the people a car that they don’t really own, stick the deal with terms, conditions and clauses making it hard to work with and wonder why they are unhappy. The dealers get these things back and have to try and sell a “Pre-Leased Vehicle” which is code to the general public for “A car somebody drove the hell out of because they knew they were giving it back soon”. You can easily abuse the engine and the trans on a car as long as you know that you won’t have to deal with the actual problem when it arrises. You will have had given the car back by then!

To top it off, the financial arms of the manufacturer get hit by making enticing loan offers to people who will never be able to afford them. This in turn, also created problems for the car dealers.

Growing up in the late 80s and early 90s, I remember seeing stuff like this on TV all the time. Mel Farr was hit by liens against Ford because people couldn’t pay for their cars.

Don’t design cars that are ugly as hell and expect people to be exited.

…I will never forget the gasp that audience made. Holy hell! This car could not have been more instantly hated if it had a Swastika tattoo on its forehead.

-Time Magazine’s 50 Worst Cars of All Time in 2007 from a reporter who was in the audience at the unveiling.

Gee, can you guess what car it was?

Pussy Magnet Sold Separately

The horrible brainchild of a piss-poor attempt to appeal to the Generation-X, Hippie Nuevo, Burning Man crowd was the result of “Design By Committee” and having absolutely 0 clue what your audience wants. This car was so bad that GM needed to sell 30,000 of these puppies a year to break even and they never even hit 28,000. The ultimate lowpoint was in 2007, where 25 new Azteks were sold. Not thousands, just 25. I can’t imagine how they sold so many.

I’m sure that the video shown at the unveiling was pretty similar to this one.

If it was even that exciting. The Aztek is so bad that it’s often compared with the AMC Gremlin, The Pacer StationWagons, The Chevy Chevette, and of course who can forget the Ford Edsel.

Over the past 25 years, we’ve seen some terrible car designs come out of Detroit.

For example:

Badass 1964 Ford Mustang

The 84 Mustang: 20 years is a long-ass time

Finally Ford got their shit together…about another 20 years later.

2010 Mustang GT

After you destroy such an iconic brand, is there really any real recovery? You just have to find out. The new Cameros, Mustangs, Challengers, Chargers, etc. are all starting to do well. People want cars that look like real cars.

Look at this:

SSRRRRRRRRawr!

What the hell is that? It’s as though the El Camino manufacturing plant and design team were revived and moved to Ferdnale. This car is garbage. It’s terrible when you try to re-do the El Camino and fail miserably.

The El Camino SS: More awesome than you

I could go on and on about the GMC Envoy, the Chevy Equinox, the Chrysler PT Cruiser, the Ford Flex, or any other abomination, but I think you’ve all had enough. I know I have.

If it doesn’t make money, DON’T DO IT!

GM took a German brand and started to sell cars based on it’s design in the United States under a different name, different production plants, and made almost entirely out of plastic, aluminum, and styrophone. That’s right, saturn was born in 1993 and has never once turned a profit.

For cars that are plentiful, you’d think that they would have sold at some point in their lives. But something got lost in the translation overseas of  Opel to Saturn. Worse yet was GM trying to make these cars exciting when they end up in the “Under $3,000″ section at your local used car dealer pretty quick. It’s as though they were trying to deliberately steal the Dodge Neon’s market share

So much fail compacted into such a small space

But as the big three tried so hard to churn these out, they also did it at a loss across the board. So many sedan and small car sales were taken at a loss while they relied on Trucks and SUVs to keep the company going. Nonetheless, gas prices spike and bigger cars are no longer popular. There goes the money train, all aboard!

Forget Innovation, what we have is good enough.

With the way people like Castrol and Penzoil talk about their products, you’d think there was more R&D in synthetic oils than in the machines themselves.

Ultimately, the car has been much the same for quite some time. We’ve made great strides in many areas, but realistically speaking, Detroit has falled flat on innovation, focusing too much on holding on to what we had instead of being on the forefront of the next big thing. GM should have expanded into other areas of manufacturing, really be the motor that powers everything, not just cars.

Failing to truely adopt to new electric, hydrogen, or even ethanol products until recently is a joke. Check out this video of Jack Nicholson with his Hydro-Powered Chevy….in 1978!

Fucking 1978! And of course, the prototype was in California, not Michigan. The unwillingness of Detroit to adapt to new technologies and push these on consumers has been a total nightmare for their development. Instead of leading the way, they now trail behind, with GM’s only real hopes in this department lying in the Chevy Volt.

In 1978, they prototyped the Hydrogen powered Chevy. In 2010 or 2011, we’ll see the first electric Chevy. How does it take you over 30 years to go backwards?

Just because you have the biggest dick in the room doesn’t mean you act like it.

Or that it will always be that way. If you have the balls to say that you shouldn’t be allowed to fail because you’re too big, then obviously you’re not too big at all. What a joke. For years GM ignored customer complaints, new technology and foreign competition as just minor things to deal with on the road to success. Now, they’re seeing it first hand. Their market share has been swept out from underneath them, putting the consumers in an uncomfortable position: buy an inferior domestic product or buy a less expensive, superior foreign product and piss off my neighbors. You didn’t need a crystal ball to see what was coming, just the need to pull your head out of your ass for a few minutes.

Things got way too slow, and nobody had the foresight to realize the trends of the future or to see that the good times just wouldn’t last forever. Especially when we’ve seen Chrysler have to get bailed out before. Now, they just get passed around like the red-headed step child of the auto world. From Germany to Canada and now Italy, who knows if the car maker will ever find a real home, or just end up like Packard and AMC.

Which would be a shame, since I really want a new Dodge Challenger.

Ooh so Sexy

But alas, we shall see where the cards lie. Maybe nobody will become an hero after all.