Vermin Supreme giving an interview during the 2008 primaries

I can’t believe this went so long without me noticing it. Being involved in politics for as long as I have, I’ve seen some really screwball candidates. But at long last, I think I may have found a candidate who is even more absurd than the infamous Vermin Supreme.

Now, to Mr. Supreme’s credit, he can form coherent sentences in the manner in which the average Joe would say such things…he just says stuff that we would never say. But hey, he was running for president of the United States (and one of the few people I’ve ever met who was also a fan of Imperial Emperor Norton I). Livonia City Council Candidate Glenn Moon on the other hand, not only says things that no mentally competent person would ever say, but he says them in a manner in which prepositions are completely optional and has invented his own nomenclature.

Not sold yet? Moon is a combination of all the worst things that you would expect out of Captain Planet, a Youth Minister, a pee-wee football coach, and a person suffering from a recent head injury. Curiously enough, Moon is none of these. I can’t find an official website for his candidacy, I did find his myspace page, where he claims to be a Christian / Metal / Blues musician, despite the fact that there is no music on his page. I guess it’s better that way.

His city council platform includes:

• Ridding the council and city of people who serve unholy Satan.
• Smiting down those who litter.
• Promptly terminate all city employees who do not “submit self to holy will of God”.
• While you’re at it, all decent God-fearing city employees will work for only $1 per year to prove said submission to God.
• Rid “Livonia Suburb Detroit” of all “fetal murders” at all costs.
• Platform essentially doesn’t matter, since he was “chosen” by our lord Jesus Christ to be on the council anyways.

Ooh yah, there’s video.

Jesus could not be reached for comment, but instead put out this press release:

Jesus: Facepalming

I haven’t seen ramblings this crazy since Mel Gibson was on South Park

As if the crazy nonsense this guy jabbers isn’t enough, he likes to end his speeches in a way to “fire up” Livonians. Check out this video:

Assuming that your head hasn’t exploded at this point, here’s the ever popular techno remix of Moon’s original speech.

I could go on and on about how this guy no doubt lowers the IQ of anyone who stops to listen to him (sorry to all those who watched the videos), but really his words speak for themselves. At least for his sake he isn’t running for office in Dearborn, but either way: he’s still trying to start some kind of holy war with somebody. Apparently, Livonia is full of Devil Worshippers who have overrun the city leaving a trail of litter in their paths. Who knew?

It amazes me that people like this even still exist, running a political platform based purely on religion with a slight dash of substance (ooh ever so slight). And even his substance is watered down. Asking employees to work for $1 is absolutely unacceptable. I’m all for slimming down government and cutting waste, but you can’t put people into slavery to civil service by way of Jesus Christ.

EDIT: I’ve been pointed in the direction of this, a rather tranquil and quaint video of Moon’s head exploding.

The man should be committed, not elected. Nonetheless, I’m sure he can get a show on Fox News, no matter how the election turns out.

In the meantime, here’s a list of other crazy people, real and fictional, who would make better city council members than Glenn Moon:

Vermin Supreme

Vermin Supreme

This man runs for president every 4 years and gets only a handful of votes, but he’s strong in his principle and his Richard-Cheese Style dress would make him a better elected official than Moon. Supreme advocates mandatory laws requiring people to brush their teeth and makes all sorts of crazy promises, since all the candidates do that anyways and never deliver, so why not?

Zaphod Beeblebrox

Hey there baby...whatcha doin later?

The powerfully obnoxious 2-headed space overlord from A Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy would make a welcome addition to the city council simply because he actually does no work, and as such is little, if any threat to the natural order of things. Unless he blows something up by mistake, then we can call it even.

Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho

Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho

Smackdown champion, pornstar, and president in the all too prophetic film Idiocracy, Camacho did eventually find the guy who could solve the problems and help get the world back on track. Camacho gets shit done.

Idi Amin

Idi Amin: He means business

If you put all the cannibalism and irate decisions aside, Amin wasn’t that bad of a guy…right? Well he certainly made the 70s interesting.

Helen Keller

Helen Keller

See no evil, hear no evil, do no evil. Helen Keller would bring a sense of tranquility to the council.

Boker

Not actual photo. But you get the jist of it.

Boker likes to show up at random political events around Michigan, giving irate tirades against people whom he is convinced are part of the NWO. He will forever be remembered for grilling Oakland County Executive Brooks Patterson about why he’s a fascist who supports the Rockefellers and the Rothschilds, making a complete total ass of himself in the process at the inaugural SOAR meeting. He later started handing out a list of people who were at the Builderburg conference, as though we were supposed to go hunt these people down right then and there.

Now at this point you must ask, is there anybody who would be a WORSE candidate? I found two, but due to to a recent passing that list has been shortened to one. Meet the devil incarnate, a person equally as evil, if not more so, than Osama bin Laden.

Harriet Harman

Harriet Harman: The Devil

Deputy leader of Britan’s Labor party and house of commons member, Harman believes that the sole purpose for Men on this planet is to supply the seed to create more powerful females…and that’s pretty much it. The chronic man-hater not only shows everything that is wrong with over-the-top man-hating feminism, but with humanity in general. Nothing like reverse discrimination to the extreme to “even out the playing field”. More fun info at http://www.harrietharmansucks.com/

Along with this comes with the internet creeping into our every day lives. Now that social networking has brought our personal thoughts, political opinions, and the mundane details of our lives into the view of others, we’re looking at our friends in a different lights.

Somehow in the midst of all this, is the Facebook application Speed Date. Somewhere between an e-Harmony account and trolling Myspace profiles lies the logic between this application: look at a random bunch of pictures and quick profiles, see who you like, and contact them. All the while, not looking like a total creep in the process. Oddly enough, I can’t remember when or why I added this app, but I know it only started paying attention to me after I got a girlfriend and as thus, kept trying to hook me up with weird local girls.

But the weirdness doesn’t stop there. The whole point of Speed Date is to find someone to hang out with (at least), right? So it makes you wonder why some word their profiles and likes the way they do. Let’s explore some of the “matches” Speed Date has sent me and encouraged me to “send a flirt” to.

Here’s a handful of local girls that “teh interwebs” thought I might be interested in. Really.

Let’s see what’s behind door number one….

Wow. First off, she's a "Featured Member", which leads me to assume that she actually paid for the listing. Apparently she's up for anything....as long as it "want land me in jail or the hospital". Picture would have been 10 times better if it was a Mugshot. Ooh well.

I could go into pretty gross detail about how many things are wrong with this profile, but why even bother putting up such a blurry, unflattering picture and talk about how much you love your boyfriend in a personal ad?

A stellar example of the modern intellectual, this young lady not only lists "Why Men Love Bitches" as her favorite story book, but also as the only one she can remember reading.

If you love wacky facial expressions and duo-toned hair, call now!

Wanted: Baby Seeks father. No experience required.

Uhm, does anybody know what Urdu is? Maybe she can explain it to you during the commercial break while you two watch Laguna Beach.

Enjoys Dental Books, Dirty Dancing...and Depressing quotes by Ann Frank.

If you've ever known one of those "this is just how I am and ppl need to deal with it cuz I ain't changin" girls before, you know what you're getting into with this one. Also, bonus midget points.

Who do you think the listing is for? Girl 1, 2 or 3?

Isn't this the girl from Psapp?

WTF? Are there other feet under that bench?

Is she chewing? Swallowing? Spitting out her free sample of Camel Snus? IDK, but it makes for a beautifully awkward image.

"I love being outside! Can't you tell from the look on my face?"

I have older siblings and they support me. I have younger siblings and I support them. We all support each other and we really like support. Kinda reminds me of George Carlin's "Everybody strokes everybody" bit.

If what she's doing with the strawberry doesn't impress you, will the fact that she GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL will? As a Baker College grad, I can honestly say this makes me shake my head in shame.

For when you use MS Paint to take the sexiness out of your picture. After all, you want them to judge you on your profile details, not your tits...right?

Are you looking for that hyperactive former cheerleader who longs for the past?

This is what "Friendship Lips" look like

Meet "Lo", a cuddly catholic who came to party.

This one might be a winner. I'm sure most men can look past the creepy blurry Santa gang bang picture and the fact that you can't decide if you're outgoing or shy if you distract them with your "tongue wave".

"I'm so much smarter than you. So smart I actually went to Grand Rapids to meet Fred Meijer. What now? You probably don't even know who that is. Ooh yah, you want all up in this"

A creepy-eyed Ginger Democrat who is covered in hearts. What's not to love?

Learn more about becoming a Ver-Tech at http://www.ver-tech.com/ Really, what's with all the pet pictures?

This looks good. Fun loving Leo Girl, Irish, into guillotines, mentions of "Hell", etc. All seems well until the "Musical Theater is the be all and end all of my mortal existence" line. And how depressing is it that someone joined speed date on Christmas?

She likes boys that cry but still stand up for things. Kinda like that kid who told all of us to "Leave Britney Alone". And by the way, she's under aged. Welcome to Fraser, folks.

Anybody wanna know more?

Simple girls like Lil Wayne and Yung Berg

Don't yell at her, she has no legs after all.

Likes cooking, sewing, reading and...fighting the WAR OF NORTHERN AGGRESSION! Be prepared for some of the most interesting dates you can imagine.

This ad just puzzles me. You'd think she would already know how to nurse.

Polly want a cracker?

That’s all everyone, remember to date safe and date smart. I hope this has been inspiring and enlightening for all of you. I blurred out the names as to make sure none of these people, who have enough issues in their lives, get too harassed. After all, it’s not like they really deserve it like some people do.

There’s something brewing over at the Michigan Central Station train depot in southwest Detroit. The depot sits as a gateway in between Corktown and Mexicantown. While Mexicantown is picking up somewhat, Corktown is still experiencing the economic hit of the Tiger Stadium loss when the team moved to Comerica Park in 2000. The station is one of the first things you notice when you cross the Ambassador Bridge from Canada into the United States, and there’s no question that while it’s an architectural masterpiece, it remains a tremendous eye sore and a black mark for the city.

On April 7th, the City of Detroit decided it was time for the building to come down, and entirely too many people disagree with that decision. So with the help of Wayne State student John Mohyi, state Senator Cameron Brown, Dan Stamper and the Detroit International Bridge Company (who owns not just the Ambassador bridge but the Train Station as well), an effort was put underway to try and find a use for this iconic relic of Detroit’s past.

Numerous times since Amtrak moved out in the late 1980s, there have been proposed solutions for what to do with the building.

• Before the Casinos opened in Detroit (Greektown, the MGM Grand, and Motor City Casino), MCS was a possible location for a casino / hotel.
• There were talks of it being an IT hub for the massive cables that connect the internet between Windsor, Ontario and Detroit.
• The Kwame Kilpatrick Administration pitched the idea of using it as a police headquarters or FBI regional hub for the area.

All of these project ideas and more have fallen through, and the depot sits idle, with the exception of the urban exploration and the occasional movie shoot (such as the first Transformers film) or photo op. The razor wire around the front perimeter does little to deter visitors, and the cement rises up ever so as if to dare people to try and jump over it. This all despite the fact that the back of the building is completely and entirely wide open.

Razor wire outside of the Train Station makes it look more like a prison

The Detroit International Bridge Co. (which owns the station) is owned by Matty Moroun, a reclusive billionaire who gained control of the bridge after buying out Warren Buffet in the 1970s, and he’s kept close control ever since. His control has survived scrutiny, the increased security following the September 11th attacks, international political struggles for control over the bridge, and the calls from numerous citizens demanding that he give up control. Yet Matty holds strong, holding on to the things that have given him such great wealth: he is approximately the 325th richest person in the country (and possibly the most hated person in Detroit). The aspects of the train station seem like peanuts compared to what he does with the bridge, such a vital source of trade that over 25% of all trade between the United States and Canada comes across this bridge.

Main terminal area of Michigan Central Station

But that’s not to say that the Train Station isn’t full of potential. Instead of looking for one solid entity to control all aspects of the massive station (half a million square feet), current efforts are looking to partner with numerous organizations to try and make something happen. There is interest in the architectural and historical communities, the art community, business, commerce, residential living, and even use again as a train station for the sake of high speed rail. There’s a lot of opportunity, and a lot of chance for something positive to happen.

I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to see what is unfolding first hand. And last Tuesday (June 30th), a volunteer effort began actual work cleaning up the debris from inside the station. Even though the plans aren’t set in stone, that hasn’t stopped the effort to get the station to an improved condition. Mohyi partnered up with Summer in the City, a group who mentors inner city kids and works on urban garden, mural, demolition projects, and much more and Facebook Volunteers to get the manpower in order to get the job done. And while things are just getting started, the place is already looking much better.

The inside before the cleanup began

The same area after a lot of debris has been cleared away

Over one ton of debris was removed after day one, and I’m sure there was at least a another ton moved after day two. However, I opted for the more lucrative (and less dusty) prospect of landscaping.

Phil directs Summer in the City Volunteers to where they need to dig for plants

With around 1000 plants to go in, a lot of man power was needed. Lots of coordination and decision making had to be made on the spot to make sure that everything was going to work as appropriate, as well as to make sure that no kids would be in the danger area close to the razor wire.

While the on-the-fly decision making was going on all over the place, nobody was exempt from the cleanup efforts themselves. It wasn’t a case of “This is what needs to be done, go have them do it”, it was instead a case of “This is what needs to be done, let’s go do it”. Meaning even the people “in charge” of the whole ordeal were doing as much dirty work as anybody else, if not more. John was constantly running around getting things done, as was Jennifer.

I was also glad to see that the local media took an interest in what was going on. Fox2 Detroit, NBC affiliate WDIV, and ABC affiliate WXYZ were all on hand at some point during the day to see what we were up to.

Jennifer talks to Channel 7 while John looks on.

You can view the Channel 7 Story here.

There is still a very overwhelming amount of work to get done. There’s a few ways that I am encouraging everyone who can to help.

• Join the Facebook group Save Detroit’s Michigan Central Station.
• Attend the Facebook event Save Michigan Central Station Volunteer Effort.
• Go go the volunteer section of Save Michigan Central.com and sign up. You will need the online registration and the waiver from Summer in the City to participate.
• Email John Moyhi at jcmoyhi@gmail.com and tell him you want to help. Additionally, you can ask him any questions about what’s going on or you can of course ask me via john@cruzweb.net

So don’t just sit around this summer. Here’s your chance to be a part of bringing back Detroit, at least some part of it.

***NOTE***
To all that are finding this page through a link, there is an update on what’s happened with more information and insight here. So once you’re done, check it out.
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While I usually hide the names of people when I post conversations, I don’t know these people and for them being so unbelievably dumb I don’t really care. There is no “innocent” to “protect”. It’s both amusing and sad at the same time, as we all know a “I don’t care what anybody says, I love him” girl who puts herself through hell for no reason.

Either way, enjoy. Also, If you like this, you’ll love The Disturbing world of Facebook’s “Speed Date” application. Check it out.

The saga of Sierra and Gary

If you liked this, you’ll love The Disturbing world of Facebook’s “Speed Date” application. Check it out.